Do you know what sucks?

Do you know what sucks? When I have people telling me, that I lost soooo much weight, and that I have "such a nice body" but i cant see it. When I look at my self in the mirror, I see someone who is overweight, someone that if she dosnt lose weight fast she might die, someone at eats way to much, someone who has not worked out in her whole life. And i hate that. Cause i work my ass off for at lest two hrrs every day. I just wish i could see what every one ealse see, unless they are all lieing to me, which i am starting to beleave. But I will have the perfect body, the perfect soul. Who needs food? all food does is make you fatt!! and who wants to be fat...you know when ever i asked someone, "Would you rather be to fat, or to skinny" everyone always says, "I would rather be to skinny"
And I want to be underweight soo badly cause if Im underweight, than there would be no way that I or anyone ealse for that matter could call me fat.

Hey
I used to have a xanga. But for some reson its no longer working on my comp. So I found this side.
This week I will be fasting.
Heres my diet plan for the rest of the month.

I hope I can lose some weight.
7/20 -7/27
water fast
One hour of workouts

7/28
Vegan Day
One hour of work outs

7/29
200 cals
one hour of workouts

7/30
400 cals
one and 1/2 hr of work outs

7/31
800 cals
two and 1/2 hr of works outs